The Mirror — Welcome to the Crete Crocodile Conundrum. We were high in the mountains of the Greek island, trying to decide whether our charismatic, yarn-spinning driver-guide Thanasis was winding us up yet again.
There really was a crocodile in the reservoir we’re overlooking 1,000ft below us. A crocodile. In Crete. A place not normally known for knobbly monsters.
In 2014 there was a croc in the reservoir, apparently a dumped unwanted pet which was later found dead after evading rescuers and not surviving a cold winter.
That’s the thing about a holiday excursion with a really good guide – it should be informative and entertaining.
A Land Rover trip in the interior mountains with Safari Club seemed a good idea.
Thanasis whizzed the Defender up past pretty villages, pointing out a Lamborghini tractor (seriously) and said croc spot, reeling off endless facts about the island (they’re very much proud Cretans first and Greeks second) and its bounteous natural resources.
Did we know walnuts and honey are mixed to make ‘Cretan Viagra’? No. And should we ever need directions in Greece, did we know all Greek Orthodox churches have a round wall at one end that always faces east? We do now.
Onwards and very much upwards. On a narrow dirt mountain track that would have graced any TV show called Top 10 Terrifying Roads, we stopped at around 4,000ft to admire the view which took in the entire 40-mile width of Crete and stopped again at a goatherd’s hut to meet his boisterous flock and see where he made his tangy cheese.
Then we descended to around 2,800ft and the Lasithi Plateau, a hidden bowl which is flat, fertile farming land surrounded by mountains.
It’s an unusual area and once had 20,000 little windmills to draw water from wells. It must have been quite a sight. They were replaced by petrol generators in the 70s, but now green farming techniques are making a comeback and, pleasingly, so are some windmills.
Apart from the sight of the seven-mile-by-four-mile plateau itself, the main reason to come here is to visit Psychro Cave, where Greek mythology says that Zeus was hidden from his offspring-devouring father, Cronos.
It’s a strenuous 20-minute walk up to the entrance, but well worth the effort to then descend into the cool floodlit cavern with its array of stalactites and stalagmites.
There are great views across the plateau from here too
And, handily, there are plenty of cafes at the bottom car park for a cold one after you’ve done the slog back down again.
After a day spent lazing by the pool we headed out again, this time on a trip to the main archaeological museum in Heraklion ( heraklionmuseum.gr €10).
Successfully negotiating the cheap local buses (air conditioning and wi-fi), we spent a couple of hours being mesmerised by the stunning handiwork of the Minoan people.
They flourished 5,000 years ago and declined for reasons unknown – but hugely speculated about by archaeologists, and ranging from volcanoes and tsunamis to famine and conquest – around 1400BC. If you are even remotely near Heraklion, this is unmissable. As is Knossos, the palace of the Minoan royals.
We decided to book one more excursion – to Spinalonga, an island near Elounda, which is a small port and resort with the kind of hotels that welcome the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio and Lady Gaga .
Spinalonga was the last leper colony in Europe and the subject of the bestselling novel The Island by Victoria Hislop. Prior to lepers arriving in 1903, it was a military fortress created by the Venetians and then occupied by the Ottomans. It’s the second most visited site on Crete after Knossos.
We joined guide Veta for the 20-minute boat trip out from Elounda’s harbour and listened, fascinated, as she described how life was for the 1,000 lepers who lived there until it closed in 1957. The incarcerated residents did what people do – drank in tavernas and coffee shops, grew veg, shopped in the market, fell in love, got married and had children.
Around 70 were born during the 54-year existence of the colony, but on what was a stigmatised island of tears, 30 were born free of the disease and had to be removed. With the exception of medical staff, no healthy people were allowed to live on the island.
The coastal setting is spectacular, but it’s one of those places that is moving yet inspiring. Again, a Crete must-see.
On the way back we spotted yet another fur store from the coach – they’re everywhere – and my curiosity finally got the better of me. I asked Veta what on earth they’re all doing on this sun-drenched Mediterranean island.
It turns out they are for wealthy Russian tourists to buy for their fierce winters – and as we all know there’s nothing worse than an oligarch with frozen assets.
